Tuesday, January 30, 2007

enough hogwash



time for a change of pace. and by change of pace, i mean not another post about lyrics.

who else is completely stoked about relay for life?

my guild (a subdivision of our team) for relay for life will be called the Sons of Korhal. those who dare to find themselves worthy of my ragtag team of revolutionists will have to ask permission for entrance. once you are part of the brotherhood, you cannot leave. if you attempt leaving, you will be slain. and your family will be raped.

me: paladin/overlord
henry: ranger
jb: knight
matt: fairy with a small twig (not a reference to his small genitals)

cc: the lady

available slots:
mage

scout

wizard

cleric
anything else that you can come up with that is cool

our goal:
to slay the dragon (mike) by the end of the night


11 comments:

Patrick said...

we many also need a priest to perform resurrections if one of our allies is fallen. remember, neutral white magic performed on the undead equals offensive white magic. black magic will not be used for we are righteous and honorable. however, it is necessary we know how to cure any elementals such as sleep/paralyzed/shocked/etc that are caused by said magic.

this is going to be an onslaught. bring wittles, water, herbs, torches, etc.

prepare to enter the survival horror. the preparations for the crusade has begun. do not compromise your safety. we will keep you safe.

Patrick said...

also:

iron>steal

however, iron is heavier. if you choose to use iron weaponry, note that you are still expected to keep up with the pack. if you are lost behind, we are not responsible for your life. foolishness will not be tolerated. speak to a blacksmith prior to zero hour about what fits you best.

lathes and scythes are strictly prohibited due to their length. shortswords are recommended, but if you can wield a broadsword with one hand then we ask that you do so. shields should be used and the Sons of Korhal crest will be carved into said shield before our adventure. we recommend steal shields for no enemies we will face will have weaponry that can pierce through steal. and also, steal is lighter.

be swift but don't sacrifice strength for agility. find a balance for yourself. what's best for a paladin may not be best for a ranger. also note: rangers are required to wear hoods because of our ancestral traditions.

should you come across gold or treasure, pick it up. at the end of our voyage, we will set up camp and divide the treasure evenly.

should there be any more updates, you will be notified.

prepare to enter the survival horror. the preparations for the crusade has begun. do not compromise your safety. we will keep you safe.

Patrick said...

if the political views of the Sons of Korhal are questioned, don't worry. this is a benevolent dictatorship. the dictator is whoever has the most power. that person will always be me. should there be a mutiny, there will be no execution of the leader without discussions and reasoning. if there is no other way, by all means slay him.

although no one being is more important than the other in the clan, everyone is needed to work together. if a man is fallen purely due to reasons out of his hands, we help him. no man is left behind unless it is caused by stupidity.

prepare to enter the survival horror. the preparations for the crusade has begun. do not compromise your safety. we will keep you safe.

Patrick said...

rangers note:

supply yr own arrows. if you choose to use fire arrows, don't worry. we will have more than enough torches for you.

ranger max: three.

there will be a preliminary marksmanship test to make sure you are worth having. should there be more than three contestants, we will take the best three that pass.

prepare to enter the survival horror. the preparations for the crusade has begun. do not compromise your safety. we will keep you safe.

Henry said...

Class: ranger

Specialties: Range combat, stealth, looking good in leather armor

Weaponry:
Range: Bow (+20 damage bonus while stealthed)
Melee: Dual knives (-10% chance to hit, +15 cool)

Armor
Chest: Jacket w/ interior with camo pattern (45 armor, +6 agi, +5 stealth)
Shirt: stretchy gray t-shirt (+10 agi, +5 stealth)
Legs: chainmail shorts w/ pockets (30 armor, 6 slot bag, +4 str, +7 sta
Head: Winter hat w/ stripes (15 armor, +12 sta, +12 str, +12 agi, +25 cool)
Belt: N/A
Hands: N/A
Wrists: Timex Expedition Digital Watch (+15 int, +15 spirit)

Overall Stats:
Primary:
Stamina: 50 (31+19)
Agility: 68 (40+28)
Strength: 40 (21+19)
Intellect: 45 (30+15)
Spirit: 45 (30+15)
Armor: 130 (40+90)
Secondary:
Cool: 65 (25+40)
Stealth: 55 (45+10)

Patrick said...

Title: Magistrate Tassadar
Class: Paladin
Specialties: Slaying beasts, pillaging towns, raping your mother, rocking, rolling, debating

Weaponry:
Two-Handed Biggoron Broadsword (+180 str, damage plus N/A)
Speedsteel Rapier (+14 str, when an enemy is hit at a certain angle, it will penetrate through the body)

Armor:
Chest: Goron Hide (+44 def)
Shirt: Nintendo Sweatshirt (+13 agi)
Legs: I choose to go commando/Dragon Scail (grants immunity to most black magic, +21 def, +4 agi)
Head: Kokiri Helm (+12 str, +15 def, +30 int)
Belt: Pokebelt (+10 mor.)
Hands: Shield of Phrodyn (blocks %1 to 100% of enemy melee/ranged attacks depending on int.)
Wrists: Slit (-life)

Misc:
Napsling: Scarf-like over the shoulder garment that provides warmth and four item pockets
Bass guitar (Protoman): For shredding (causes foes to temporarily enter a state of rocking and rolling)

Overall Stats:
Stamina: 100 (-life)
Agility: 30 (+13, +4)
Strength: 91 (+180 [+14] +12)
Intellect: 40 (+30)
Morale: 51 (+10)
Def: 65 (+44, +15, +21)
Dexterity: 25
Nobility: Unknown

History:
Born in a small village called Phrodyn. Tassadar’s father, Adun, was a head member of the Martyrs of Phrodyn Society that fought against the Confederacy. One night, Confederacy soldiers kidnapped the family and killed Tassadar’s parents. Tassadar was then forced to enter the Confederacy against his own will. Had it not been for intentions of revenge against the Confederate head, Tassadar would not have given in. Tassadar then rallied up some of the local prisoners and told them about his plan. Then, what may be the biggest overthrow of any government took place, the Confederacy was attacked by Tassadar and his trained prisoners. Tassadar accomplished his goal of destroying the figure head, but the Kokiri Secret Police of Maelstrom Phrodyn were alerted and came to settle the dispute. Tassadar then fled the scene with some choice allies to start the Sons of Karhol. The rest is a healthy mixture of myth and truth.

Likes:
Food
People
Activity
Honor
The colour green

Dislikes:
People
Hairspray

Patrick said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
CC said...

What if my family is made up entirely of men?

Corinne said...

Oh no, DRAGON! What can I do to help the cause?

Patrick said...

you can act as cannon fodder.

Corinne said...

gee, thanks